Rhapsody (The Bellator Saga Book 5) Page 5

  * * * * *

  “How are things going?” Natalie asked.

  “She had a migraine last night,” Jack said. “A bad one.”

  They’d just walked into the examining room and already he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “It was nothing,” Caroline said.

  “She almost passed out.”

  Caroline tried not to curse. “I thought it was my job to tell her. I also thought you were going to wait outside.”

  “I wanted to make sure you were okay first.”

  “I’m in the company of a very capably trained physician, Jack. I’ll be fine.”

  He backed toward the door, wagging his finger back and forth between Caroline and Natalie. “I’ll be right outside.”

  What was that about? Was he going to stand there with a glass against the wall, trying to listen in? Jesus, she probably should have let him stay.

  Natalie spun around. “So, how are things really going?”

  Caroline must have stared at the door a little too long. “How do you think?”

  “What happened last night?”

  She decided to stick to the medical details and nothing else. “I had some head pain. Not a big deal.”

  “It may not be significant,” Natalie said. “But I bet it didn’t feel all that great.”

  Thinking about it made her nauseated all over again. “It hurt like hell.”

  “Did you take anything for it?”

  “Jack forced me to take one of those horse pills you gave me.”

  “Is that why you’re mad at him? Today, I mean.”

  It didn’t hurt to be honest. “It’s on the list.”

  “Did the medicine help?”

  “I feel hung over. I don’t do well with heavy painkillers.”

  “I suppose it’s better than suffering through terrible pain.”

  “I suppose.”

  Natalie removed the bandage over Caroline’s eyebrow. “These are definitely coming out. If your shoulder looks good, I’ll take those out as well and save you another trip over here. Okay?”

  That gave her one less excuse to leave the apartment. Shit. “I guess.”

  “How’s everything else going?”

  “Natalie, stop prying.”

  “Caroline-”

  “I don’t want a lecture either.”

  Natalie paused in the act of removing a pair of scissors from the drawer behind her. “Is there anything you want to talk about? Why are you in such a shitty mood?”

  Had the doctor been living under a rock the past several months? “I have an intolerable roommate situation.”

  “I highly doubt that. Tell me the truth. You’re much better at being straight with me when no one else is around.” Natalie rolled a stool over to the examining table and sat down. “What’s the scoop?”

  Her eyes drifted toward the door again before focusing on the floor. “It’s hard,” Caroline whispered.

  “What’s hard?”

  “Being around him.”

  “That’s not unexpected. What else?”

  “He’s being too nice to me.”

  Natalie laughed. “That’s not possible.”

  “It is,” Caroline said. “It’s incredibly awkward.”

  “Would Jack agree with you?”

  “Without a doubt.” She could ask questions. Natalie would tell her the truth. “Was I really unconscious for three days?”

  “Yes,” Natalie said softly. “It was very trying.”

  “And Jack stayed with me the whole time.”

  “He did. I’m not sure he even ate. He never left that room. Not once.”

  Caroline looked over at the side wall. The paint was peeling. The décor was sparse at best, but at least it was clean. She closed her eyes.

  “You can’t keep hiding,” Natalie said.

  “Why not?”

  Natalie bit back a laugh. “Because I said so?”

  “You can do better than that.”

  “Because you both need to deal with this.” Natalie put her hand on Caroline’s shoulder. “What’s really going on?”

  “I don’t know how to talk to him,” she whispered. “How did that happen? I used to always know what to say, and now all I do is lash out at him.”

  “What’s it really been like? Be honest.”

  “Couldn’t you tell when we walked in here?”

  “I want your opinion before I comment on my impressions.”

  Her impressions couldn’t have been good. “There’s all this tension,” Caroline said softly. “It hangs in the air, especially when we’re alone. I don’t know how to cut through it. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or say to fix it.”

  “Do you think Jack is the cause of it?”

  Caroline clenched her fists. Natalie wasn’t going to let up. “He can barely look me in the eyes. There are times when I can swear he’s happy I’m there, but most of the time he seems so…ashamed.”

  “Of who?”

  Of himself. Of the fact that he’s stuck with me. “I don’t know.”

  “Do you think he’s mad at you?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

  “Are you mad at him?”

  “I don’t…are you trying to trick me into having another therapy session?”

  Natalie chuckled. “No. I’m trying to figure out why you’re perceiving things the way you are.”

  “Couldn’t you feel it when we came in here?”

  “A little,” she admitted. “But you’re missing the bigger picture. Jack is trying to help you. Protect you. And he doesn’t quite know how to do it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You saw how he acted when you first got here today. Taking the lead, answering my questions before you had a chance to speak. He wasn’t doing that to be overbearing. He’s doing it because he’s worried about you. He was afraid you weren’t going to tell me the truth.”

  “I was,” Caroline insisted.

  “I know,” Natalie said. “But you might not have said it in front of him.”

  This entire situation sucked. “How did we get so awkward?”

  Natalie tried not to smile. “Hell if I know. You have plenty of time to figure it out. Just take it day by day. It’ll get easier. I promise.”

  That seemed like a rather generous assessment of the situation. “How did I even get back here?” Caroline asked. “I don’t want to ask Jack.”

  “Jones hauled you out after the field lit up. By the time they wheeled you in, you were in pretty dire straits.” Natalie cleared her throat. “I was on duty and when I first saw you I thought you were dead.”

  Well, that brought a fresh round of guilt. Especially after she’d promised Natalie she’d be careful. “I’m sorry. Did you, um, help treat me?”

  “It was a little beyond what I’m qualified to do. And I’m not sure I was in the proper emotional state to do it. I stayed with Jack. Provided treatment for the rest of your crew. Mostly minor injuries.”

  Except for Rosen. Caroline had so much blood on her hands she could never wash them clean. “Thanks.”

  “For which part?”

  “Natalie-”

  “I’m kidding,” Natalie said. “I won’t push it. Just try to be nicer to him, okay?”

  “I am.”

  “I’m here if you need me. Don’t forget that.”

  “I know.”

  Natalie gestured toward Caroline’s hair. “You gonna finally grow that out?”

  The thought had crossed her mind. “Maybe.”

  “I hope you do. You have a shit haircut.”

  “Wait, we had a nice pep talk and now you’re going to criticize my styling abilities?”

  Natalie laughed. “No. I thought you might want to start caring about yourself a little more. Let’s use your hair as a starting point. Shall we get these stitches out?”

  The stitches made for quick work, and Natalie soon moved on to her shoulder. “You healed faster than I thought,” she told Caroline. �
�Has Jack been helping you?”

  “Sort of,” she said. “He took a look at my forehead but I freaked out when he wanted to look at my shoulder.”

  Natalie sighed. “Oh, Caroline. You still haven’t told him?”

  Hadn’t she been paying attention during their earlier conversation? “I’m not ready.”

  “He is.”

  “I can’t - I don’t want him to look at me the way you do. The way everyone does.”

  “And how’s that?”

  “Like you all feel sorry for me.”

  “You think that’s what people are doing?”

  “Yeah.”

  Natalie looked her square in the eyes. “Don’t confuse pity with admiration. Tell him, Caroline. He can handle it.”

  “I’m not sure he can.”

  “You need to give him more credit.” She poked around Caroline’s shoulder, her lecture over. “These are coming out too, so take it easy the next couple of days. You’ll take some time to heal and might have a scar.”

  Caroline laughed but managed to stay steady as Natalie removed the stitches. “Maybe I should start tallying them up. All those red badges of courage.”

  “At least you acknowledge them for what they are.” Natalie moved over to the sink to wash her hands, her work finished. “Jack wants to take care of you. Let him do it.”

  “I don’t want to depend on anyone.”

  “Letting him take care of you doesn’t make you dependent,” Natalie said. “It makes him dependable. It takes just as much courage to accept help as it does to render it.”

  “That’s deep. Any other words of wisdom for me?”

  “Even the strongest tree can snap in two with enough pressure. Maybe you should stop trying to uproot it.”

  “Is that your daily affirmation?” Caroline asked.

  “Nope, it’s just a nice metaphor for you to figure out.”

  “Think I got it, thanks.”

  Natalie patted Caroline’s leg. “That’s because you’re super smart. Try to stop getting hit on the head, okay? And let me know if you have any more headaches like the one last night. I’m hopeful they’ll go away, but you never know. If they become a problem, we’ll find a way to deal with them.”

  Caroline slid off the examining table. “I’ll let you get back to work.”

  “If you need to call, you know where to find me.”

  She spontaneously gave Natalie a hug. “Thanks.”

  Chapter Six

  It was past midnight and Jack rolled over on the couch. He couldn’t sleep. The day had gone by slowly, with Caroline barely speaking to him on the walk back from the infirmary. He couldn’t tell whether her silence was caused by indifference, anger, or fear, and wasn’t sure he wanted to find out. She’d picked at her dinner again and said a weak goodnight immediately afterward.

  He was normally restless, more so lately, and the old piece of furniture he was lying on didn’t make it much easier to relax. The door to his bedroom was open a crack and he thought he heard a noise coming from inside. He padded into the room. The lamp in the corner was lit. Apparently Caroline no longer liked the dark, because according to the staff she’d flipped out every time they turned off the light while she was in the hospital. He saw her flailing on the bed.

  “No,” she mumbled, her face tightening. “Stop. Please stop.”

  Jack touched her shoulder. “Caroline, wake up.”

  “No, please,” she whimpered. “Please stop. Don’t hurt them.” She curled up in the sheets and started to scream.

  Watching her like this was unbearable. He laid down next to her and tried to shake her awake. She continued to thrash, kicking away from him.

  “Caroline,” he said, stroking her face. “Sweetheart, wake up.”

  Suddenly, unexpectedly, her eyes flew open. She stared at him, her entire body shaking. Sweat was pouring down her face and she was breathing far too fast. She started wriggling in his arms.

  “Get away from me!” she screamed. “Get away!”

  He pulled her tighter. “It’s Jack. You’re safe. It’s just a dream.” He whispered into her ear, doing his best to think of soothing, comforting words, hoping she’d come to her senses. After a few moments she seemed to realize where she was and grabbed his shirt and leaned against his chest.

  “Breathe, sweetheart,” he said. “Big deep breaths. Come on, now. Calm down.”

  He could feel her heartbeat returning to its normal cadence. She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. “Jack?”

  “It’s okay, Caroline. You were having a nightmare. Take a deep breath. Exhale. Again. Good.” He kept his arms wrapped around her until she gazed up at him and repeated his name again. “I’m right here,” he said softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  She closed her eyes, tracing her fingers along the stubble on his jawline. “Monty,” she whispered.

  Jack wasn’t sure what it was that made him tip her chin up. He reminded himself that he was supposed to have boundaries. That she should come to him. That he wasn’t supposed to try a damn thing, even if he could practically taste her desire. He could see the passion in her eyes. The heat. The longing. He heard the desperate way she spoke her pet name for him. Her terror had faded, replaced with a refreshing blend of emotions he hadn’t expected.

  Just one kiss. It wouldn’t hurt anything. They both wanted it. It would make her feel good. Make them both feel good.

  “Caroline,” he said softly, and brought his lips to hers.

  His confidence hadn’t been completely restored. Not yet. He half expected her to stop him but she pulled him closer. The kiss was gentle. Loving, but firm. He kept going and soon his kisses were insistent. He wanted more. Needed more. He teased her with his tongue and heard her moan his name softly. Fuck, there was no way he could stop after that. Her lips parted and his tongue merged with hers.

  It was as if no time had passed. Their bodies fit together perfectly as they lay side by side, and he drew himself on top of her, starting to get aroused. Not that it took much anymore. He generally sported a raging hard-on the instant she got near him.

  “I love you,” he said. “God, I miss you so much.” He caressed her neck, trailing kisses along her jawline and toward her collarbone.

  She curled her fingers up in his hair, her eyes closed, softly calling out to him, caught up in the moment. Her voice was like music. She clung to him and his kisses grew deeper, stronger, more intense. Almost by reflex, he slid a hand under her shirt. But when he drifted his fingers up her abdomen and felt a jagged scar under her ribcage, he knew he’d made a mistake.

  Caroline froze momentarily before speaking. “Stop.” She shoved him in the chest. “Don’t.”

  Jack rolled to the other side of the bed. He’d tried not to picture what those men had done to her when she was being interrogated, afraid his imagination would be worse than reality. She’d been slashed open and crudely stitched back together like a rag doll. He seriously underestimated her captors’ depravity and didn’t want to think about what else she could be hiding. He swallowed hard, trying to focus on the positive. Although whatever had happened between them in the past few minutes appeared to be crumbling apart.

  She was shaking like a leaf. Dammit, he’d really fucked up. He reached for her, wanting to provide her some measure of comfort. “Did I-”

  “Don’t start,” she said. “What the hell was that for?”

  He paused. “We were kissing. You weren’t exactly stopping me.”

  “Well, I’m stopping you now.”

  Jack ran a tired hand through his hair. Goddammit, she ran up and down so fast he didn’t even know what he was doing anymore. It didn’t matter that trying anything had been a terrible idea. He’d done it and there was no going back.

  “I was half asleep,” she said. “You took advantage of me.”

  Now, that was an unfair accusation. But he couldn’t let his temper get the best of him. Not yet. “You pulled me toward you. You whispered my name. You kissed me ba
ck. You wanted it as much as I did.”

  Caroline drew the covers around her. “Please leave,” she said icily.

  He was done with leaving things unresolved. “No. You’re not going to be alone.”

  “Fine. Then stay as far away from me as possible.” She turned and scooted as far away from his side of the bed as she possibly could, wrapping herself in the covers again. “Good night,” she mumbled.

  She was going to make it as difficult as she could, wasn’t she? “Caroline-”

  “Leave me alone,” she said. “You can stay in here but that’s it.”

  Jack flopped down on the pillow next to her and lay there brooding. After a few minutes he could hear the unmistakable sound of her crying. Amazing how quickly his anger could fade, leaving only the guilt behind. He sat up and placed a hand on her back. “Sweetheart-”

  “Leave me alone! Just leave me the fuck alone.”

  She kept saying that like she was trying to convince herself that she could make a go of it on her own. “Please, Caroline. I want to help you.”

  “No!” Her voice was tearful. “Leave. Me. Alone.”

  “I don’t want to leave you alone,” he said, his voice breaking. “You shouldn’t be doing this by yourself.”

  Caroline rolled over to face him. “I don’t want you to be the one helping me. How much clearer do I have to make it? Get out.”

  He knew she was tired. He knew she was scared. But dammit, those words wounded him more than they should. Jack sat up, cradling his head in his hands and rubbing his eyes. He sat there for a moment, feeling completely and totally useless.

  “Okay,” he said quietly, and stood up and left the room.

  Chapter Seven

  Jack was cranky the next morning. Sleeping on the couch had left him sore and annoyed and he’d tossed and turned most of the night. At some point in the early morning, Caroline closed the bedroom door. He didn’t bother checking on her when he awoke. In fact, he had little desire to see her at all. She emerged from the room shortly before noon. Evidently she hadn’t slept all that well either. She also hadn’t expected him to be there and when she saw him she started to turn around.

  Oh, that was how she was going to play it. “Are you going to avoid me all day?” he asked.