Phoenix (The Bellator Saga Book 4) Page 4

  Jones scowled. “Get a room, you two.”

  “They are in a room,” Crunch pointed out.

  “If they wanna go in for hospital makeout fantasies, I ain’t having no part of it,” Jones said.

  “Maybe we should give them some alone time,” Gig said, trying to be diplomatic.

  Apparently the guys did think they had something going. Was now the time to correct them? There was a knock at the door and before Caroline had a chance to acknowledge it, Jack burst in.

  “It’s been more than a few minutes. I told you gentlemen I-” He stopped short when he saw Caroline and Gabe. “I told you I was coming in,” he finished.

  She didn’t bother hiding her scowl as Gabe hastily pulled away from her.

  “We should go,” he said. “I’m sure Commander McIntyre wants to talk to his – to Caroline.”

  The scowl evolved into an eye roll. “I want you to stay.”

  “We need to get settled anyway.”

  At least he was trying to sound apologetic. Ditching her like that. “Come back and visit me later tonight,” Caroline said.

  “I don’t know if that’s-”

  “Come back later.” She forced the scowl into a smile. “I’ll be waiting.”

  She’d caught him by surprise. Gabe stepped back. “Let’s go, guys.”

  “Captain Schroeder is down the hall,” Jack said, his voice a low growl. “He will help you find your room and tell you more about the briefing tomorrow.”

  The room was silent for a moment, with no one willing to ease the growing tension. Finally Jones spoke up.

  “We’ll see you tomorrow, Princess. Sweet dreams,” he said, winking at her.

  Gig and Crunch came over to give her hand a squeeze.

  “See you later,” Crunch said.

  Gig started to say something, then backed away from the bed without a word. The four men slipped past Jack and out the door. He was standing on the outskirts of the room and started to move toward the bed but froze when he saw the look on Caroline’s face.

  “May I come in?” he asked.

  “You’re already here,” she said. “Not much I can do to stop you.”

  “May I sit down?”

  Caroline gestured toward the chair Gabe had vacated. “Whatever.”

  Jack sat down next to the bed. She wondered if he’d leave if she didn’t speak up, but she doubted it. Best to get this over with as quickly as possible. He began to remove the chain around his neck. Her wedding ring. She’d forgotten he was wearing it. Just like she wanted to forget their entire conversation in the interrogation room.

  “This belongs to you,” he said.

  “I don’t want it.”

  Jack stopped. “What?”

  Oh, of course he wouldn’t believe her. He seemed to think everything was hunky fucking dory. “You heard me. I don’t want it.”

  He hesitated for the briefest of moments before tucking the chain back into his shirt. “Why’s that?”

  Kisses and presents and promises. Lies upon lies upon lies. All stacked on top of each other and eventually they’d have to come tumbling down. Jack had to know damn well that she didn’t want him in there. That doctor would have been smart enough to set him straight. And he had to know the reason why. He wasn’t an unintelligent man.

  She could be nice. Diplomatic. Maybe even truthful. But that would take too much effort. Maybe a blunt dose of reality would yank him away from her the fastest. “It doesn’t mean anything to me,” she said. “So you go ahead and hold onto it.”

  He stared down at his hands and didn’t say anything.

  Was he really going to play dumb? “You’re looking very…alive,” she said.

  Jack rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s one way to put it.”

  Caroline fiddled with the IV, checking the bag beside her to make sure it was still full.

  “I can have Natalie check on that for you, if you want,” he said.

  “It’s fine. I have a call button. Speaking of Natalie, your perky little buddy was trying to make friends.”

  “She’s concerned about you. As am I. And she’s just a friend.”

  “I’m not worried about that.”

  “She likes you,” Jack said. “I can tell. When I first got here I gravitated toward her quickly. She reminded me of-”

  He wasn’t wasting any time, was he? Pulling at her heartstrings as soon as he walked in the door to get her to soften up. Caroline didn’t need anything else to upset her just yet. “Please don’t say who,” she whispered.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I won’t. But you know who I mean.”

  Bullshit interrogations. Emotional triggers. No doubt about it, Caroline hated this so-called rebellion. “Natalie’s a bit too Pollyanna for my tastes. But she seems to harbor some pretty strong feelings for you.”

  “We’re just friends,” he repeated. “I don’t want to talk about her. I want to talk about you.”

  Because God forbid he talk about himself. His own flaws, his own faults, his own mistakes. “I don’t.”

  “I – how are you?” Jack whispered.

  My head hurts. My heart hurts. Existing hurts. “Fine.”

  “Caroline-”

  “Did Natalie tell you I don’t want you in here?”

  “She may have mentioned that.” He sighed. “I was hoping you’d give me a couple of minutes.”

  He had an ego and a half. “You didn’t believe her, did you? That’s why you just charged in here like you owned the fucking place.”

  Jack brought his hand to her face but pulled it away when she glowered at him. “No,” he said, twisting his fingers in his lap.

  “I don’t want you in here,” Caroline said.

  “Why not?”

  “We have nothing to say to each other.”

  “I think we have plenty to say. What was that between you and Mr. Morton?”

  She’d made him jealous without doing much of anything. One tiny victory for the day. “What do you think it was?”

  “Are you two involved?”

  Extremely jealous. “Use your imagination.”

  “Are you going to answer any of my questions?”

  “I’ve answered enough of your questions already,” she snapped.

  Jack started twisting his fingers again. His occasional silences were almost amusing.

  “You know,” she said, “when I first woke up I didn’t remember any of our…Q and A. Yes, that’s what I’d call it. It came back to me as I was waiting for the guys to arrive. I’m trying to decide my favorite part. Was it when you squeezed my broken cheekbone out of anger, or when you caused me to relive the trauma of the last time I saw my children alive? Maybe it was when you used that nice rapid fire method to try to trick me into admitting that I was lying.” She let out a short laugh. “Hell, let’s not limit it to one portion. How about I congratulate you for the whole fucking thing?”

  “Caroline-”

  Fuck his cheap attempt at an explanation. She had a point to make. “Is that what you people call a friendly chat? Was that an interrogation? Or were you getting your twisted little kicks by asking me about the most agonizingly personal parts of my life?”

  He ran a shaky hand through his hair. “Caroline, I didn’t recognize you. I was afraid someone had planted you to fool me. You have no idea how strict we have to be around here. I couldn’t-”

  “Couldn’t ask me to take my contacts out? Couldn’t ask to get the guys so they could tell you how they got me out of that prison? Jesus Christ, Jack. I have a tattoo on my ankle. I have a bullet wound on my left arm. I have any number of personal identifiers that can’t be replicated. That you should have known and believed.”

  “Sweetheart, please-”

  His favorite pet name. A sneaky way to weasel his way into her psyche. How predictable. “Don’t call me that,” she said. “You could have handled this in a million different ways and you chose the shittiest method possible. Has anyone else showed up on this base clai
ming to be me?”

  Jack lowered his head. A small patch of red appeared across his cheeks. Well, that was her answer right there. But she wanted to hear him say it out loud.

  “How many people have showed up claiming to be me?” she asked.

  His gaze went all the way to the other side of the room. “None.”

  “Well,” Caroline said. “Fuck you.”

  He flinched. Good. He felt bad. She waited for him to try to sneak a word in, to try to apologize and justify some more, but he kept on staring at the wall.

  “I sound exactly the same as I always have but that wasn’t enough for you, was it?” she said. “You couldn’t have asked me those last two questions to confirm that I was who I said I was? You know damn well that no one else would have known the right answers. No one.”

  Jack was still avoiding her gaze. “You’re right,” he said softly. “I’m sorry. I just – I had to make sure it was you. I didn’t realize I was hurting you.”

  There were a great many things he didn’t realize. The longer their conversation went on, the more Caroline came to the understanding that perhaps he never would. “Of course you didn’t. For fuck’s sake, the least you could have done is take me to the damn hospital and worry about your precious conscience later.”

  “You think that’s why I asked you those things? To protect myself?”

  “You can’t pretend that was for my benefit. That was emotional abuse, pure and simple.”

  “Caroline-”

  He was starting to get defensive. “Was it fun tormenting me like that?” she asked. “Did it make you feel better?”

  “That wasn’t what I was doing,” he said urgently.

  “You knew it was me.” Her voice started to rise. “How could you not have known it was me? Why didn’t you just believe me?”

  Jack stood up so quickly that his chair toppled over. “I couldn’t go through that!” he yelled. “I couldn’t get my hopes up and have them dashed. I’m sorry, Caroline. I really am. But you came in here looking nothing like yourself. I have documents saying the government had executed you. Every other piece of information and intelligence I’ve received confirmed it. I remembered – I knew what condition you were in the last time I saw you. How was I supposed to take you at your word?”

  “Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think.”

  He set the chair upright and sat down again. “You look like a skeleton,” he whispered. “Your face-”

  She curled her fingers around the mattress. “Yeah, I’m pretty fucked up.”

  He stole a glance at her hands. “What happened to you, sweetheart? You’ve been hurt. Badly.”

  “That’s none of your business,” Caroline said. “And I told you not to call me that.”

  “It is my business. I’m your husband.”

  Oh, because it was that easy. Some spousal obligation for her to bare her soul to him when he’d done nothing to deserve it. “In name only. It’s pretty clear we didn’t have much beyond that. Not after that little show you put on for your men.”

  “It wasn’t a show. They couldn’t even hear what I was asking you about.”

  Bullshit. She flashed back to the interrogation room again. Remembered the disbelief. The mistrust. The fucking third degree while she was in dire need of medical attention. Her head hurt almost as much now as it had then. “That entire thing was a sham,” she said. “Just like our relationship.”

  “If I hadn’t asked you those questions, I would have had to do it later. Standard procedure. We have to figure out who we can trust.”

  “Always the king of rationalization, aren’t you, McIntyre?”

  “Ask anyone here. We have rules even though you think we’re making it up as we go along.”

  Oh, they had rules. Shitty goddamn rules. “I’m starting to discover that this movement has a lot of procedures I don’t like. I don’t care much for their leader, either.”

  He hung his head. “Caroline, please stop acting like this. I want to talk to you. About everything.”

  Sure he did. “There’s nothing to talk about,” she said.

  “I’ve missed you so much,” he said softly. When he looked up at her his eyes were wet. “Please let me explain myself.”

  She didn’t have the time or the inclination to listen to his false apologies. “I don’t want to hear it. I want you to leave me alone. Treat me as you would any other prospective soldier.”

  “You know that’s not possible.”

  “It is if you try hard enough.” Caroline shifted away from him. “See, I’m going to pretend like you don’t exist. It’s easy.”

  Jack let out an audible sigh. “So, that’s it? You apparently thought I was dead and now that I’m alive, it makes no difference to you?”

  Maybe if she kept pushing, he’d leave her alone. “Not a bit. Makes it worse, actually.”

  “Well, aren’t you a colossal bitch.”

  His resentment was obvious. And refreshing. She hadn’t expected him to jump to it so soon. Caroline turned to face him, a bitter smile plastered to her face. “Congratulations. You figured that out a little slower than I expected but you did reach the finish line eventually.”

  He flushed again. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “It always took a little poke before you told me what was really on your mind. Kudos for not holding back.”

  Jack clenched his fists. “You’re acting like a spoiled brat right now.”

  Like he was one to lecture. “Don’t tell me how to fucking act.”

  “Caroline, please. Talk to me. Don’t be this way.”

  “I want you to leave,” she said.

  “No,” he said. “I refuse. We’re going to talk this out whether you like it or not.”

  “I’ll get the staff in here. I’ll tell them you’re threatening me.”

  “I’m in charge,” he reminded her. “You think they’re going to believe you?”

  “If these walls are as thin as I think they are, they already know you’ve been yelling at me.”

  “And you’ve been cowering in the corner, haven’t you?”

  “That’s it,” Caroline said, pushing the call button. “I want this IV disconnected. I want to leave. You people can’t keep me here.” She pushed herself up with her free hand, swinging her feet over the edge of the bed. Jack was instantly at her side.

  “Lay down,” he said.

  “Don’t tell me what to do. I’m fine.” The bed was taller than she’d anticipated, and her feet dangled above the floor. She looked down, trying to ignore the head rush that was making her woozy.

  “Caroline-”

  Why were there two of him? She had a hard enough time dealing with a single Jack. She didn’t want more than one. “Leave me alone,” she said.

  He grabbed her shoulders. “You can swing at me all you want but I’m not going to let you hurt yourself. Lay back down,” he said. “Now.”

  Oh God. She didn’t want his hands on her. She’d lose her angry momentum if she started focusing on the way it felt when he touched her. “Don’t tell me what to do,” she repeated.

  Natalie burst into the room. “What’s going on?”

  Caroline shook her head, regaining her equilibrium. “I want this…man to leave.”

  “I’m not leaving,” he said.

  She tried to shake him off but he wouldn’t let go. “Fuck you. Get out of here.”

  Natalie put her hand on Jack’s upper arm. “Commander McIntyre, let go of my patient.”

  He gave her a pointed look. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. Let her go.” She turned to Caroline. “Lay down, please.”

  Caroline was sick of people trying to tell her what to do. “I don’t-”

  “Please. Before you pass out and hit your head or something worse.”

  Jack reluctantly released Caroline. Natalie helped her ease onto the pillows, glaring at both of them in turn. “Anything you two want to talk to me about?” she asked.
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  “No,” he said.

  “Fuck no,” Caroline mumbled.

  Natalie sighed. “Commander, I think you should leave.”

  “Captain, I don’t think-”

  Her voice turned cold. “Please leave, sir. So I can tend to Ms. Gerard.”

  Jack gave Caroline a wounded look. “This discussion isn’t over, sweetheart.”

  Did he think those puppy dog eyes would sway her? Not a goddamn chance. “Don’t call me that,” she said. “You heard the doctor.”

  Natalie grabbed Jack’s arm as he headed toward the door. “Please don’t come back in here unless Ms. Gerard requests it.” She leaned closer to his ear. “I warned you,” she whispered. “Give it time.”

  Jack shook her off, pushing through the door without another word.

  Subtlety wasn’t anyone’s strong suit in this place. “I heard what you said to him, Doctor,” Caroline said.

  “Maybe I meant to be overheard.” Natalie moved toward her. “Are you okay?”

  Caroline stared up at the ceiling. Far from it. Her entire upper body hurt and she was desperately close to breaking down, which would only make the pain worse. Pain in her head, in her body, in her soul. The pain that never seemed to go away. “I told you I didn’t want him in here.”

  “I know,” Natalie said. “I’m sorry. I should have listened to you. But I thought-”

  “You thought wrong.”

  “I know that now. Are you sure you don’t want to talk?”

  Caroline was tired. And angry. And sad. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. Not now. Not ever. She turned to Natalie, a hot, angry tear rolling down her cheek. “I don’t need anything from you, Dr. Haddad. Or anyone else.”

  Natalie smoothed the blanket on the bed anyway. “Okay,” she said. “I’ll make sure that all visitors are cleared with you beforehand. Is that acceptable?”

  Caroline rolled over so that her back was to the door. “It’s fine,” she mumbled.

  Natalie squeezed her shoulder. “I’ll be here most of the night if you get lonely.”

  Caroline flinched. “I’m fine by myself,” she said, burying her face in the pillow. The pulsing pain in her cheek was going to be hard to ignore but it was better than making eye contact with anyone.